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The One!
06-24-2012, 09:04 AM
Post: #1
The One!
I am experienced enough in this 'business' to know what I want from a relationship. Well actually it is not so much about what I want - it is more what I can give/bring to the table!

99.999 % of all people go into a relationship because they WANT something out of it. They want something from their partner. And the deal becomes like: I give you 10 pounds of love every week and you give me 10 in return! This is NOT unconditional love! It is very much contitional!

There are three main factors why this - in most cases does not work:

1. We don't talk deeply enough about what we need from our partner and especially what we can give. We just assume that of course he or she can and will give me what I need. And because we are unconscious about this, we tend to give the partner what we need ourselves!! Basically women and men want/need different things. Men often want to be recognized to feel superior. Verbally and sexually. Women often want time together and commitment. Personally I want to be touched and moved.

2. Women and men (and people in general) tend to put different value on their 'services'. I hear it all the time: I have done everything for you and now you won't even... and the funny thing is, the partner feels the same way!!

3. We have basically two kind of needs. Physical needs and psychological needs.
The physical needs are negotioable and we can agree that I cock and you wash the dishes.
The psychological needs are different. But we don't know! We believe that we can do the same kind of deal, but we can't! The fundamental thing is that there is only ONE single person in the whole wide world who can cover my psychological needs. It is ME! And only ME!

And why is that? Our psychological needs comes from 'holes' inside. These holes are made when we as childs had a need to be understood, listened to and seen by our parents, but were rejected. And this is the formula. This is the greatest thing we can give each other: Attention, listening, understanding. This and this alone is the key to give each other what we REALLY want! The greatest gift is to open your heart and your mind and be present and listen. Then you give your partner the opportunity to heal and change. And by doing this you heal yourself too!

This is why you only receive by giving! If you on a deep level experince this you are truly ready to meet all your soulmates!

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06-28-2012, 11:35 PM
Post: #2
Re: The One!
Hey Rigpa!

This is a really great post! The bible also says that it is by giving we shall receive :lol:
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